turning over a new leaf

im turning over a new leaf in my life. i need to clean up my act and put a stop to some of the things ive been doing, well ALOT of things that ive been doing!
thanks to close and supportive friends tho, i have people to help keep me accountable and remind me that i AM priceless and that i DO deserve better.
i was cleaning out my bedside table/shelves the other week and i found this book "Dont Date Naked" i remembered when i last read it and how it affected me and helped me to make a decision for purity and re-think my reasons for dating and also rethink the kinds of ppl that i was dating. i remembered being quite happily single. and altho i still checked guys out (eye candy is harmless!!!) i was still happy within myself and happy 'saving myself' for the guy i was meant to be with. i know that i had this mentality that if i wasnt going to marry him,y waste my time on him? that sounds short and bitter but i have to think of myself and the baggage that i am adding to my life. so yeh ANYWAY. i thought that the way i WAS is the way i want to be again, only better. so i made a quality decision to read that book again and ive hardly put the book down.
its been so interesting reading about setting standards and going thru the qualities list that i had this time last year and seeing that it hasnt really changed, yet i have compromised it in so many ways. if anything ive added to it, which i guess is a good thing. especially after tristram, the main points ive added is:
* if he wants to see me, HE can come and see ME.
and
* he WILL not stand me up EVER.
so even tho my standards dropped for a while, hopefully now they will be higher than they ever will b4.
its been hard tho. in the last i dunno, week or 2 ive just had so many temptations to break this new promise to myself that i will pursue purity and self respect. but to get those i need to get self control. the self respect and purity will follow that.

another thing that ive found interesting so far in this book is the discussion on pre-marital sex. especially about all the STD's that come with it, it is all very scary and i didnt realise how easy it is for them to be transmitted.

today i had lunch with a friend and we discussed about the dangers of std's and the consequences they can have on life. also about setting higher standards and why its important to only marry a christian guy who is fearful of God. it was just one of those conversations where u KNOW god really planned it. everything we spoke about i have been reading and thinking about and contemplating and telling myself that i believe it and need to follow it. but after my convo with Anna, i dunno, it all just really sunk in.

i guess thats why friendships and fellowship is so important!