not sharing

tonight in culture group we were talking about relationships and friendships. ppl were asked to say what they look for in relationships etc and the very first thing i thought of was "someone who listens!" i know that my closest pals are such good listeners. im not saying i just wanna talk about myself its quite the opposite really. but sometimes u just need someone to listen to you and what u have to say. and then i was about to say, "and i really cant stand it when ppl wont talk back to me" and i guess in a way i did say it. but not quite like that cos i realised just b4 i was about to say it that i am one of those ppl that doesnt talk back. wot i mean is, im not sharing my issues. i do share some of them. but i feel like ever since tyrone left i have been keeping things closer to me and not talking with anyone about them. its annoying. and i think my friends must find it frustrating when they can see that im down but i wont tell them wots going on in my head. i guess its silly i should just speak to my friends about why i feel down. sometimes tho its just easier to put on a mask and fake ur way thru the day. i guess i just felt silly becos i was thinking 'a good friend is someone who shares their stuff with u so that you can help them thru the tough times' yet here i am, not sharing things with my friends.

but then there are some things u just dont really want anyone to know about. i dont want ppl to see me differently becos of something new that they know about me.
urrggh this isnt coming out the way it is in my head so i think ill just give up.