changes

i know that somethings need to change. but there are somethings that u dont want to change. and why is it, that wen things DO change, it is often in a way u really wish it didnt!!!??
im sad cos i had made good friends with this guy matty online. i really enjoy talking to him. we always have a good laugh and thru the whole stupid tristram thing he kept me smiling. in fact he always kept me smiling. it made me smile to see him come on cos i knew there were some laugh ahead. and we shared lots of stuff too. but things have changed. and i dont know y.

this time last week everything was normal. in fact last thurs night he had just bought a webcam and he was testing it out and i was just sitting there wetting myself laughing at his antics. it was so strange to see him on a webcam. was almost like real life! sure is amazing technology. i went to bed that night with the biggest grin on my face. he sure did cheer me up. but yeh. that was kind of the high point i guess cos its all been downhill from there. he has hardly been online since, which is no big deal. but the thing is, wen he IS online he hardly speaks to me, in fact sometimes wen i come online, he just leaves. and we just had this big stupid argument and i dont even know wot it was over~!!!!!! and im sad cos i dont want to lose him as a friend...even tho ive never met him1!! lol. he just cheers me and knows the right things to say... :-(

ON A MUCH BRIGHTER NOTE....................

this evening i went to the last session for Just For Her. (i think it was the last session anyway!) it was a conference that nancy alcorn was at, the founder of Mercy Ministries. wow. she really touched me. she has a big heart. and i was amazed at how god was using her to touch ppls lives. she shared stories about girls that had come thru her mercy homes and had their lives totally changed. hearing their stories broke my heart and then lifted my heart all over again. and at the end i thought, "WOW! these girls have been to hell and back and becos of wot God did in their lives, well, their lives cud not b any beta right now! even after they've been thru" which made me realise that even with wot happened to me wen i was younger and the stupid decisions that ive made in the past and recently are almost nothing compared wot these girls have experienced and god has turned it all around for good...therefore god most surely can do it for me too!
this means that my life WILL be great! and that god DOES have the perfect man waiting for me and HE REALLY DOES have a good plan for my life.
wow. i feel so uplifted and so full of hope. i cant wait to hear he speak at MY church on friday night and sunday morning, what an honour.