stupid america

hmm. i feel like i havent written anything on here for ages...but its only been since christmas.which was....only 5 days ago. somehow it feels like weeks ago. but alot of things can change in 5 days. hell, alot of things can change just in one day - as they did with the fate of many ppl in asia. although we have had no television coverage of the tsunami disaster my father and i have followed the reports closely on google news. in a way im thankful that i havent seen any visual news updates. i dont think i cud handle the images of all that destruction and waste. just reading about it is terrible. what amazes me is how blessed australia is. a friend was telling me that due to the way the earthquake shifted the tectonic plates the waves shud have actually come towards australia...but they didnt. they went in the opposite direction! i mean im not happy about that entirely, because alot of people have still lost their lives so its still a terrible thing, but i am so thankful that australia was kept safe. its not just that though...a few days prior to the earthquakes and tsunamis in asia there was also an earthquake between australia and antarctica that measured 8.1 and reportedly shook tasmania. tsunami's were an expected aftermath of this, and they would have swept the south of australia and devestated tasmania...but they never came. to me, that is amazing. that is not coincidence, not in my books anyway. australia - my beautiful country just cant come that close to disaster and escape it-twice, just thru coincidence. we truly are a blessed nation and i think God really protected us. because we are a christian nation. thats my views anyway.

i just really hope that the death toll ceases to rise and stops real soon. everytime i log on to read an update the death toll seems to have risen to an unimaginable number. its so heart breaking. mind, wot u found more heartbreaking was the top news headline this morning...."Tsunami Disaster Relief: How America Can Prove It's Not 'Stingy'" i was so disgusted. in the middle of a disaster, while people starve, while people die, america decides to sit there and talk about how they are not stingy with their funds. the article itself was both interesting and appalling. it was interesting that america had only donated $15 million until ppl started to declare that america was stingy...then they donated an extra $20 million - clearly just to keep face. what a joke. america is such a joke. half the article was about how this is an opportunity for america to show the world that they care. here is some of the article... "Why hasn't the Bush administration shown some imagination in convincing the world that Americans really care...Especially these days, a dramatic proposal to assist victims of mass catastrophe might also improve our country's tarnished image in many places in the world"
that makes me so mad. clearly they DO NOT care. how dare they use this disaster to improve their "tarnished image". now is just not the time!!!! trust america to use disaster to their advantage. at the end of the article there is a place where you can leave a comment..a fellow aussie left this comment: "...If the US spent just a fraction of the money it does bombing and killing innocent people all over the world, on overseas aid instead, it would prove to be a far better way to prevent terrorism. When is the U.S. going to wake up to the reason why they are so hated? Also my government blindly follows yours. I am becoming ashamed to be Australian, as I am sure many Americans are to be US citizens."

i cudnt agree more with his comment. america doesnt mind spending billions on a war that kills innocent ppl,yet when it comes to a TRUE disaster money is only donated to prove they arent stingy. i mean really america, u need to get your crap together. this is so appalling.
i guess im feeling extra mad at america cos the other day i watched "fahrenheit 9/11" i highly recommend that documentary. far out. the things that go on are just unbelievable sometimes. it opened my eyes that you dont have to be a communist government to be corrupt. there was some really scary footage in it too. especially the footage of how buddy-buddy bush is with the saudi's and also the lucrative business deals that bush has had with the bin laden family. money truly rules everything and everyone. it disgusts me. but the footage that sent chills up my spine was of the bahavior of some of the soldiers in iraq. they say ppl return from a place like that totally mucked up inside, but some of these men were mucked up b4 they even arrived. they were showing how the soldiers can play music in their tanks. and the sound feeds thru their helmets, or something. but basically it enabled them to have "background" music while they killed. it was like wot motivated them...two of their favourites were "the roof is on fire" and "let the bodies hit the floor" one of the soldiers says to the camera something about how he loved the song (the roof is on fire) they listened to it while they burnt down and blew up buildings. the same soldier was later shown singing the words..."we dont need no water, let the mother F***er burn....burn mother f****er, BURN!!!!" far out. it was so chilling listening to him sing that. he really didnt give a crap that he killed innocent civillians while he sung along to that stupid song. then they showed footage of shootings and building getting blown upwhile they played "let the bodies hit the floor" in the back ground. it was really quite horrific. then to top it all off the documentary shows dead, innocent bodies. thats when i lost it. i cudnt hold back. they also showed a lady who had totally lost it,cursing america, saying how her family is dead. she was standing on the rubble of her uncles house and screaming out there was no militants there, only innocent civilians. it really broke my heart. im sure it didnt break bushes tho.

why do such horrible things happen? *sigh*

anyway. hmm, apart from that i have just been taking it easy. my flights home are all booked and confirmed. i started the first of my goodbyes last nite which was a real shock. mr haynes is going to the states on saturday for 2-3 months. so i had to say bye to him, it made me sad. he's such a nice guy. far out. not long left here now. there is so much to look fwd to yet i feel like im leaving so much behind as well. the other night shani stayed over a friends. her and i share a room and going to bed that night i felt so alone without her. made me think how lonely its gonna b when i first get back. i really have become accustomed to her company during those last few moments b4 i fall asleep.

havent heard much from dan. i had an email from him on xmas day which made me happy but thats it. he said he'd call wen he got back from hong kong, but he hasnt called. i msged him to see wot he's doing on new yrs eve but he hasnt written back. i dont really know wot to think about all this. seems like its all over b4 it even had a chance to begin. im sad. i really like him. i dont know wot to do about it really. part of me is thinking "maybe somethings happened to him, maybe he's lost his fone or is just really really busy" but it takes 30 seconds to reply to a message and 2 mins to make a call...but i think deepdown i know, ive been given the flick.

well thats enuff for now.