learning from courtship

On wednesday night ruth took me to go and see "Pride and Prejudice". I've never seen it, nor have i read the book and ruth had said good things about it so i was excited!
i really enjoyed the movie and it makes me want to see the extended rediculously long version. hehe. as much as some of the ppl's attitudes in films like that annoy me, i really enjoy watching them and seeing how things were.

randomly it inspired me to google "courtship" and i entered into a site discussing courtship.... here is what it had to say (http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/conway/286/courting.html )

Courtship was considered more a career move than a romantic interlude for young men, as all of a woman's property reverted to him upon marriage. Therefore courting was taken very seriously--by both sides. Men and women were careful not to lead the other on unnecessarily.

From the time she was young, a woman was groomed for this role in life-- dutiful wife and mother. Properly trained, she learned to sing, play piano or guitar, dance and be conversant
about light literature of the day. She also learned French and the rules of etiquette as well as the art of onversation and the art of silence, (EVERYONE GROAN)

COMING OUT' THE COURTSHIP RITUAL
Coming out meant a young woman had completed her education and was officially available on the marriage mart. Financial or family circumstances might delay or move up a girl's debut, though typically, she came out when she was seventeen or eighteen. She purchased a new wardrobe for the season, in order to appear her best in public. A girl was under her mother's wing for the first few years of her social life. (SOUNDS SIMILIAR TO A TEENAGE GIRL...BECOMING THAT AGE WHEN YOU WANT TO LOOK UR BEST FOR THE BOYS)

She used her mother's visiting cards, or that of another female relative if her mother was dead. This same person usually served as her chaperone, as a single girl was never allowed out of the house by herself, especially in mixed company.

Courtship advanced by gradations, with couples first speaking, then walking out together, and finally keeping company after mutual attraction had been confirmed. But a gentleman had to take care in the early stages of courtship. If he was introduced to a lady at a party for the purpose for dancing, he could not automatically resume their acquaintance on the street. He had to be re-introduced by a mutual friend. And then, only upon permission of the lady.

The lower classes had opportunities to socialize at Sunday Service, Church suppers and holiday balls, while upper classes held their social events throughout the season. The season ran from April to July. (THERE ARE SEASONS FOR "PICKING UP!!" ..AKA..HUNTING SEASON - HAHA)

A typical debutante's day meant she rose at 11a.m. or 12 noon, ate breakfast in her dressing room, attended a concert or drove in the Park, dined at eight, went to the opera, then to three or four parties until 5 a.m--all under the watchful eye of her chaperone.
(PARTY ANIMALS!!)

NOW HERE IS SOMETHING I THINK WE COULD ALL LEARN FROM...

A single woman never walked out alone. Her chaperone had to be older and preferably married.

If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart.

A gentleman could offer his hand over rough spots, the only contact he was allowed with a woman who was not his fiancée.

Proper women never rode alone in a closed carriage with a man who wasn't a relative.

She would never call upon an unmarried gentleman at his place of residence.

She couldn't receive a man at home if she was alone. Another family member had to be present in the room.

A gentlewoman never looked back after anyone in the street, or turned to stare at others at church, the opera, etc.

No impure conversations were held in front of single women.

No sexual contact was allowed before marriage. Innocence was demanded by men from girls in his class, and most especially from his future wife.

The couple could become a bit more intimate once they were engaged. They could stroll out alone, hold hands in public, and take unchaperoned rides. A hand around the waist, a chaste kiss, a pressing of the hand, were allowed. They could also visit alone behind closed doors. But they had to be dutifully separated by nightfall, or overnight at country parties.

Thus, if the engagement was broken, the girl suffered the consequences of a ruined reputation because of her previous behavior.

... i dont think i need to say anymore. i know ive broken every last one of those rules in the past... and it just goes to show, even back in the courting days they knew that doing such things would lead to suffering! maybe we could learn a thing or two from the ways of the past!